


Love is but a Paradox (A time paradox?)

by LovelyNights



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M, The others are here just kind of in the background, brief discussion of relationship dynamics, episode 5??, love hurts sometimes kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 06:18:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10916055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyNights/pseuds/LovelyNights
Summary: Its after the fight, his thoughts are running wild, and Even has no idea what to do with himself.





	Love is but a Paradox (A time paradox?)

**Author's Note:**

> A different take on the night it all goes down. Even wonders what he could've done to keep his boy unbroken.

Sometimes Even forgets how young Isak is. He reasons with himself that Isak seems to want it to be that way. With his rough edges and refusal to have lengthy discussions about his childhood, his fretting about Even. With the bags that seem to belong underneath his eyes in permanent residence, his silent refusal to indulge himself when angry and explode the way he wants to. Isak has established himself as the mature one in the relationship. I is for immovable. S is for steady. A is for always. And K is for...knuckles. Yes, for the blood on his knuckles. 

Isak stands for so many things. Pain and covered up fury. Bad things happening to good people. Being too pure for the world. Yes, Isak makes Even think of all of these things. 

In this moment, watching the boy he loves in pain and knowing there is absolutely nothing he can do for him, Even hates the world. The universe, actually. He wants to whisper sweet things in Isak's ear, tell him all about how in a parallel universe they're in bed right now watching some sappy movie. How in a different universe somewhere this moment does not exist. All of their friends aren't sitting in a waiting room worried out of their minds. Isak doesn't feel like his whole head is splitting open. Blood isn't dripping from his face. It isn't Isak's fault. But it doesn't feel right. He knows better, from the way Jonas is shooting Even looks. Worried looks? Angry looks? Some kind of looks. 

Though its irrational, Even is envious of his imaginary self. The one without the broken boyfriend. He wonders what the fake one managed to do to avoid the situation. Maybe, fake Even and Isak decided against the party. Or maybe fake Isak knew how to fight better. Maybe, somehow everything is flipped in the universe of dreams. Or maybe, perhaps the most painful option of them all, fake Even doesn't exist. Perhaps what separates the universes is Even dying when he was ready to. Because Isak can only be at his best in a world where Even does not exist. 

Even wonders how it became this way. How all of this happened. How his boyfriend has blood pouring down his face steadily but everyone is reaching for Even. Whispering to Even. Checking on Even. Even. Even. Even. This is about Even. He stares at his boyfriend, whose face is resting in his hands and who is emitting sounds Even never wants to hear ever again. He closes his eyes and takes it all in, the sobs sound of the sobs that seem to rip through Isak's body washing over him in waves. An image of Isak is destroying himself swims through Evens head, of Isak glowing red and literally splitting in half with the force of his next sob, but it's gone as soon as it occurs. 

He wonders if Isak is scared. Tired? Annoyed? Even thinks he'd be all of those things if he was Isak. But he and Isak are not the same. They will never, ever, be the same. Because if he and Isak were to switch positions in this situation, there would be no blood. Isak would've known, somehow, that Even was in trouble before the punch was even thrown. Would've stepped in. Would've fought with more strength than anyone knew he had to protect Even. Would've left the other guy in a wheelchair probably. Even knows he had it in him. Staring at his boyfriend, he wonders why he didn't fight back the way Even knows he could've. Wonders if Isak cares about himself as much as he cares about Even. Now his thought process turns to himself. He's wondering why everything in his body is telling him he needs to get up, right now. Wonders why he needs to leave. Wonders why he's making the same horrid sounds Isak is making. 

His legs are moving before he knows they are. Head down, hood up, mouth pressed tightly in an attempt to keep the sounds away. He's scaring himself. His legs leading the way he leaves it all. The blood, the stares, the whispers. The too bright white of the waiting room. His broken boy. His broken boy. His broken boy. Isak deserves more. Even hopes he isn't scared right now. Hopes he isn't as scared as Even is. Hopes the terrifying sounds he was making blocked out Evens own. With his mind buzzing, Even does what he thinks is best for Isak and their relationship. He leaves.


End file.
